“We can do hard things” (when we’re ready)

There is a popular therapy quote that I think pretty much all of us use. “We can

do hard things” -Glennon Doyle. Prints of the quote hang on the walls of many therapy

offices, I assure you. At one point, while relaying the quote to someone in therapy, I

realized I wanted to add to that raw wisdom in the moment, not that it needs it…its

succinctness is perhaps its best virtue. But I wanted to tailor it to the moment to make it

even more therapeutic for that particular client. So I said it! “...you know, when we’re

ready.” I realized later that, from that lens, helping people “get ready” is pretty much

what we do.

I come from a perspective that the folks I’m talking to actually have all the

answers to their own lives. They sometimes just need the right questions to get there,

their expertise of their own life and understanding of their values is obviously

unmatched, they’re the experts of their lives, not me. My expertise lies in those

questions on a good day. They often need more of course; encouragement, being seen,

to have their emotions validated. I strive to help them trace their emotion to the

message it was trying to send, they’ll know what to do when they get there; according to

their own values.

So lately, I’ve done a hard thing. I’ve accepted that building up a caseload at a

private practice is difficult, and accepted that I’ve been failing at it, especially in one

aspect for me. I simply struggle believing in myself enough to put myself out there more,

to network, self-promote etc. I was even down on myself for the lack of confidence, sort

of adding self-inflicted insult to injury. I’m working on that too. This role is daunting, it’s

not easy. I went to grad school to learn therapy, there were no classes on self-

promotion. This is hard for me. But I wouldn’t choose an easy life if I could, I choose a

meaningful life. If I want to help as many folks as possible, I simply have to show people

who I am, no other way really, unfortunately for Mr. Social Anxiety. Gonna have to let

him go like Bing-Bong.

For all of my life, someone at each job has pointed me in a direction, told me

what to do, told me “great job,” rinse and repeat. Private practice is the opposite, I set

my own course, I decide what to do. If I’m being real, it's scary as hell, but it’s “exciting

and new” like the Love Boat. I believe courage is being frightened of ‘doing the thing’

and then doing it anyway. I’ve been able to scrape up enough of it now. So, I decided to

start creating some content like this. Something that I fully admit has a partial function of

self-promotion, but done from a place of earnest hope that something I write helps

someone, anyone. To let folks know the kind of helper I am. I can do hard things

too…when I’m ready. So can you. Let me know if you need any help getting ready.